Calgon, Take Me Away!

Take Me Away!

This is how the commercial goes:  a frazzled woman, hands in the air, exclaims,“The Traffic, the Boss, the Baby, the Dog! Calgon, take me away!!” Before you see her kick the dog (and possibly the baby), she is transported to the huge tub, luxuriating in bubble bath. (What happened to the baby???) Now everything is better, all of those problems have been washed away by Calgon bath beads.  Check it out on YouTube. Who’s old enough to remember those Calgon commercials? (If you’re 50 or over, raise your hand!) Well, this week, that woman is me.

“The computer, the vacuum, the air conditioning, the car!!” It seems that everything’s broken or dirty at my house. This week, the air conditioner broke in 100 degree weather, my car wouldn’t start, and the vacuum wouldn’t suck. My computer has some kind of freaky virus that makes it want to commit suicide approximately every 45 minutes, and my iPod won’t sync. Gaaaa! And I’m trying to prepare for a 10 day European trip. USAirways, take me away!

It’s always a little crazy before a trip. I have a system, though. All of my toiletries are set and in their bags; they just need a quick review. I have favorite travel clothes, but my weight (and mood) can fluctuate, so I must try on everything before it goes into the suitcase. Electronics need to be charged, SD cards need to be cleared, and chargers in their bag must be found. Newspaper and mail must be stopped and cat food set out with a note to our good neighbor Bill. Credit card companies’ fraud department must be made aware that we will be traveling so they don’t think it’s someone else charging up a storm in France. Empty the trash and compost, put the blinds down, but not all the way down, so the cats can see out, and adjust the a/c. Print out boarding passes, confirmations, directions. I do it by rote.

However, when the computer is broken, the car won’t start (ok, got the car started the next day, but the speakers from the stereo are totally quiet – another thing to fix), the clothes won’t fit, the vacuum roller won’t roll, and the guys fixing the a/c are tromping through the house, it can disrupt my preparation routine. How I long for the equivalent of that Calgon bubble bath – a morning expresso on a quaint square in Paris.

USAirways, take me away!